To everyone asking why I haven’t been posting lately, theres been a lot of reasons – and the hardest ones at that. Ive been going through one of the hardest things Ive ever had to go through, one of the hardest things i ever will have to go through.. and its caused me to realise I need to step away from social media, I need to take a step back and reevaluate everything. The person that I was, who I was being, the way I was acting- everything.I wasn’t being the right person, my attitude wasn’t right, and the way I was making the people who love me and care about me feel, wasn’t right. I know i’m a good person, I know my potential, my drive and i know exactly who and what I want in my future.
But, to be able to grow as a person, be who I want to be and get to where I need to be, I need to remove certain things from my life and focus on whats in front of me, to give me a chance to grow, change and be the best version of myself, as I know I’ve lost that in the past, which has caused me to lose the single most important thing to me – so if removing myself from social media to do the things I need to do is the sacrifice I need to make, then thats exactly what Im going to do.
Right now, I dont think anything else could possibly get worse for me, and this is why I’m taking this moment to do this, because its the right thing to do. Ive tried so hard to put pieces back together, but I need more time to do that. I need the time to grow as a person, as an individual, before I can ask anyone else to love me or try for me. As they say, no one can love you unless you love yourself. At the moment, Im numb, I need to take the time to be with family, I need to take the time to find myself, my purpose, my goals, my ambitions and reach them.
I dont know how long i’ll stay off for, theres no time limit to that at this stage- but all I can say is that I’m sorry. I’m sorry to anyone I have ever hurt, let down, upset or disappointed. I’m sorry for not being strong enough, good enough, or worthy enough. I thought I had all the answers, I thought I had everything mapped out and planned, but I was wrong. when I’m strong enough, when I’m ready and when Ive taken the time to change the person I was becoming, and become the best version of myself physically and mentally, I’ll be back.
All I can promise is, that when I come back, It will be with the best version of myself, someone I will be proud of, a completely different person to who I am right now, thats for sure.
To all my friends and family,
I’m sorry, I love you – and I will be back when its the right time for me and I’ve found myself properly.