Hey guys,

So its been a while, I know – and all I can do is apologise for that. Ive been taking some time to focus on what directions i want to take with not only my blog, but also in my life in general. Ive been focusing on my friendships, my job and my self reflection. With that being said, I’m back!

This post to me is actually extremely important, because its one that hits close to home. Ive been reflecting on everything lately and have come content, happy, satisfied and grateful for everything that I am lucky enough to have in my life. I feel that so many of us can easily take for granted the things in our life that we are so lucky to have. We are only human, it happens.

Taking the time to get away even for a day, has proven to me how important self reflection truely is. What i have learnt is that no matter what issue you have, what ever is getting to you, whatever is worrying you – If you have a happy place where you feel safe, comfortable and content with to just sit, focus and think – you can truely help yourself to come up with a plan thats going to help you out of any problem or issue that stands in your way.

For me, the coast and anywhere near or close to the ocean is my safe place. I grew up by the water. Whether it was my parents taking me down to the beach every Sunday or traveling up to our holiday house in Torquay, I was always happiest by the water. Just last week, A very beautiful person, someone I was once very close with passed away and It truly hit home to me. I was shocked, heartbroken and weakened by the news, and I had to take a step back and really think about what I do with my life and how I live it.

Its so easy to take the small things for granted, and ill be honest and say I take my body for granted. Yes, I train, Yes, i eat healthy – but there is so much more I can do to look after myself, and I understand that now. Its also so easy to take the people in your life for granted, only because we think they aren’t going anywhere anytime soon – but the horrible truth is, we never know when its going to be our time. I think its so important to remember how lucky we are to just be healthy, to be surrounded by people who love and care about us, to be able to talk, walk and do the small things we do each and every day – because there are so many people who dont get those opportunities.

We get so many opportunities, but sometimes we dont take them because they aren’t in our comfort zone, we put them off because our mind tells us ‘we can do that later’ or ‘you dont need to do that’. I think sometimes, as cliche as it may sound, you need to seize the moment, seize the day, and make the most of it. Do the things you want to do, see the things you want to do, make them memories and document as much as you can so you can look back on them at any moment and remember exactly what you have been lucky enough to do.

Last week, my best friend and i took a drive up to our favourite coastal spot in Victoria and made a day of checking out all the beaches and look outs, and as crazy as it is for me to say,  I came home a completely different person. My itch to travel is higher then ever, my determination to get comfortable and happy in my body is higher then ever and my inspiration to create, photograph and film is so present that I have decided to focus a lot more of my time around my creative side, while I document the things my friends, family and I do.

Im excited to now save, plan and travel the world, meet new people and truly transform myself more then ever, and I know if something simple like visiting a beautiful beach can do this for me, I know it can help so many others too.

So all though this post is short and sweet, I hope you understand exactly where I’m coming from, and know that whatever is getting you down, whatever you’re worrying about or whatever you’re keeping bottled up – do yourself a favour, find your happy place, and reflect, and I can promise you, you will come out of it feeling so much happier and content with yourself and your plans for your own future.

I can’t thank you all enough for reading my blog, or the beautiful messages I get about my posts. All of them mean more to me then you will ever know. I’m so happy to be back.


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      I made a small vlog video of our road trip that can also be checked out here

Until next time,






What keeps my relationship strong?

So, Recently I’ve been asked by someone on my Tumblr to answer the question of ‘what keeps my relationship strong ’I thought about what my answer would be and thought, why not make a blog post about it instead, to really be able to explain. WARNING to all, this post may be a little bit mushy and cute so if you don’t like that, It’s okay, you can stop reading, As I’m going to give the back story of how we met and got together. If you don’t want to read about how we met, then you can scroll down to the next paragraph to where I answer the question!

I’ve been with my boyfriend Ryan for 2 years. I actually remember the first time we ever spoke! It was New Year’s Eve, 2011 and he was up at his holiday house and he was friends with my best friend who also had a holiday house up there. She called me to wish me a happy new year before she got too drunk(typical of my best friend) and she put Ryan on the phone. I’m not joking here, when I say his voice automatically made me feel an attraction to him. He then added me on Facebook. At the time, I didn’t think much of it as we would only speak every now and then and I thought he lived a lot further away then he actually did, plus, we hadn’t even met yet! Us talking every now and then went on until a few weeks before Easter, 2012. I was currently studying my final year of high school and was stressed out to the max when my best friend invited me up to the holiday house where her and Ryan both went, for Easter. Why would I turn that down? I was told by my best friend Jade that she was going to get Ryan to pick us up from her house and we would all go together from there. At this stage again, I also thought nothing of it. So he rocked up to pick us up, and honestly, the first time seeing him, I became a blubbering mess. I didn’t know what to say, how to smile, how to talk at all! I was so nervous and so concerned with his first impression of me. I kept staring at him through the car mirror (creepy I know) but I was just so nervous! We arrived at the holiday houses and ended up all staying in Ryan’s house. In the end, Ryan made the move of telling me to stay in his room and watch movies. We were only up there for four days, but within those four days I knew I was starting to like him. We returned to Melbourne, and sadly I thought once we were back, Ryan would want nothing to do with me, however we still continued to text and talk all the time, which constantly kept me happy and smiling. I loved talking to him! After a few months, we ended up starting to see each other, and I was really falling for him at the stage. We spent almost every weekend together, he would put up with my mood swings, and just be there for me when I really needed someone! I’m a very self-conscious person and never gave myself a compliment, and hate the way I look, but Ryan always made me feel good about myself.  Anyway, fast forward to December 8th, 2014. We went out clubbing for my 18th Birthday, we spent the whole night out together, and at around 3:00am on the 9th of December, while we were in the smokers area of the club (romantic I know haha) Ryan asked me to be his girlfriend, and of course, I said yes! That’s where our journey really began. I was so proud and so happy to be able to call him my boyfriend. Not many people know, but when we were only seeing each other I was so insecure and felt like I was going to lose him. I wish I didn’t feel like that, but being an insecure person, that’s how I was.

Now that I’ve explained how we met, Ill finally get into answering the initial question. How do we make it work, what keeps us strong? It’s actually a lot more simple then people may think. We trust each other. I would never do anything to jeopardise my relationship with him. I wouldn’t even consider it. He’s the only person I want to be with, so why would I ruin that for anything? He is a caring, loving person and I know that I can trust him to even sleep in a bed next to another girl (not that I’d like that to happen though haha) Trust is a big part of being in a relationship. No trust leads into constant fighting and constant disappointment. No trust leads to isolating yourselves from friends and the opposite sex because your partner doesn’t trust you. Really, If you don’t trust your partner, the relationship isn’t going to last. As they say, you can’t build a relationship if you do not trust. I believe another thing that makes us stronger is not being together 24/7. Do not get me wrong, I miss him like crazy during the week, however it lets us have time to be ourselves, hang out with our family and friends, grow to miss each other and actually have something to talk to when we see each other. I believe that young couples who see each other 24/7 and leave no room for themselves, family and their friends is a disaster waiting to happen. You need to give your partner space to breath and be themselves! Ryan and I have lasted this long because we understand each other. I know how moody and bitchy and bipolar I can be, I know this, but he knows how to calm me down instead of making it worse. He knows how to react with any mood I’m in, he knows how to show me he cares, and I love this about him. He knows also, that I will be there for him through absolutely everything, He knows id do anything for him, and that’s what keeps us strong. We give each other compliments, we insult each other too, we joke about stupid things, and laugh all the time together. He understands my silly side and I understand his. You just know you are with the person you love when you can’t wait to see them and still get butterflies when you’re with them. I know these points are so simple but they are KEY. You cannot have a successful relationship if you do not trust, understand or accept your partner the way they are. My relationship with Ryan in my eyes keeps getting better, because we get each other and we get what we want and need.

Just trust, put your heart into your relationship, and be yourself. If it’s meant to be, it will be

Tegan Audrey X .

Thoughts on Australian Big Brother cheating Scandal.

If you are Australian, You may of heard about the cheating scandal going on in the Tv show, Big Brother this year. Now, don’t judge me! I’m not usually the one to watch these shows religiously, but recently I’ve been tuning in to see what the big deal is. Even if you aren’t a fan of the TV show, or don’t know what the hell I’m on about, I’d still read on because the whole situation has Australia divided if what’s going on is right, or wrong, so I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Okay, So, Big Brother Australia is currently airing. If you live under a rock and do not know what Big Brother is, I will brief you. Big Brother is a show where they send all different personalities of people into a large house, to live for 3 months with each other. The housemates nominate people to evict weekly, usually people they obviously don’t like or think are a threat  and the housemate with the least votes to save by the public, gets evicted. At the end of the day,  The house mates come out of the show thinking they’re famous, its really very funny. Anyway, Every year there is obviously Drama, and this year’s main drama is revolving around two of the house mates, Lawson,23 years old and Cat, 31 years old.  It was a bomb shell that no one really saw coming until around 3 weeks ago. Lawson has always been a good friend to Cat in the house. He comforts her, hugs her, talks with her, helps her when she’s down, As a lot of ladies appreciate when they are down and upset, However, Lawson has a girlfriend on the outside of the Big Brother house. They’ve been together for 5 years. Cat is completely aware of Lawson’s relationship status. With the affection Lawson was showing Cat, she began to develop feelings for him, and instead of trying to shut them out for the fact that he is committed to someone else, She acts on them! She lets him know how he feels, makes sure she is constantly close to him, gets undressed around him, flirts with him, everything under the sun to try and get him to feel the same. Don’t get me wrong, I know it takes 2 to tango, and this is where it gets worse. Lawson and Cat decided it would be better to be apart for a while so her feelings could have a chance to disappear, but let’s be realistic here, you are stuck in a house, sleep in the same rooms, eat in the same kitchen and even shower next to each other, so please, explain to me how you are going to ‘ignore’ each other. Exactly, they can’t. Cat decides she’s ‘over’ not talking to Lawson and invites him to ‘The Sanctuary’ A romantic hide away room with candlelit dinners, a private pool, spa and bed. A complete getaway from the other house mates. Of course, Cat becomes even more attached to Lawson, makes a move and kisses him, as sleeping in the same bed wasn’t already bad enough. So there it is. Lawson, labelled a cheater and his girlfriend on the outside world humiliated. You think that’s bad? You aint heard nothing yet. When the two return to the normal house, the deny anything happened, but its all on camera and Australia’s already seen it. Lawson felt guilty straight away and spent hours crying to Big Brother admitting he had made a mistake. At this stage, I thought ‘hey, he’s human he’s made a bad mistake but at least he realises that. Oh how I was wrong. Cat and Lawson then began to try the thing where they stay away from each other, you know, that thing that worked so well last time? Anyway, A few days go by, and we fast forward to last night on the show. Big Brother throws the housemates a party, and of course, they all get tipsy. The night it coming to an end and Cat and Lawson are in the clothes room together, Cat decides to get changed and flash Lawson her Boobs and claims it was an ‘accident’. Lawson, being a typical, tipsy male is happy by the ‘accident’ The two make there way to Cats bed to ‘talk’. Lawson tells Cat that she can ask him anything honestly, and he will answer with the truth. First Question Cat asks? ‘Do you like, like me?’ I’m sorry, but this lady is supposed to be 31 years of age, and asking this man, well a boy if you ask me, if he “like,likes you”. Really? You know that there is thousands of people watching, as well as Lawson’s current girlfriend, and that’s what you ask him? Anyway, Lawson admits it! Admits he likes her and then makes a move on her. The two spend ages kissing and grabbing and kissing and grabbing, showing that neither of them could care less what anyone thinks of them at all. Oh still, that isn’t the worst part. Cat then tells Lawson after 40 days of knowing him, that she loves him and that they will get through this together. And guess what Lawson does? Yep! Says it back to her. Now that you’re up to speed with the story ill express my opinion on the matter.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for every single person finding someone that makes them happy, someone that they love and want to be with, I am absolutely all for that, BUT, and this is a very big BUT, If you are in a committed relationship, that has been going on for 5 whole years. 5 years of being together, growing together, knowing each other’s friends, family, becoming a part of each other’s family, there is absolutely NO way in hell, that you should be cheating on this woman, with another  woman, especially on national television for the world to see. There is a beautiful young lady out there, who would have already been worried about letting her boyfriend go onto the TV show in the first place, who has had to watch her partner, that she has been committed to for 5 years, tell another woman that he loves her, and passionately make out with her right in front of her eyes. Now I tell you, If my boyfriend of 2 years, cheated on me in our day to day lives, I would be absolutely heart broken. It would tear me to absolute pieces, let alone have it show cased for everyone to see over the TV. I scroll through my Facebook daily and see the official Big Brother like page, throwing up headlines to get ratings which say ‘CLAWSON GETTING IT ON’ or ‘THE KISS THAT’S ROCKING THE HOUSE’ Now I understand it’s a TV show, and that’s a way to pull people in and get more viewers, I totally get that, but I cannot help but feel for Lawson’s outside girlfriend, who has to sign in to her Facebook and see all these posts, turn on her TV and watch her partner cheat, while she’s at home being committed. Now I get it, some of you may say ‘Why doesn’t she just shut her Facebook down, not watch the show and go out and have fun’ I totally see that point, and somewhat agree with you, But knowing that thousands of people have seen what’s happened, and that your partner after 40 Days, has told another woman he loves her, it’s devastating, and I completely hope that this woman, Candice, has realised she deserves much better and can hold her head high and move on, As for Cat and Lawson, I can’t say the same. Lawson, Lawson, Lawson. You come into the house, full of ego and a ‘I’m the boss’ attitude, I’m surprised a girl showed interest in you to begin with, as harsh as that may sound. You knew from the beginning that what you were doing was wrong, so why not have the decency to wait until your back home and sort the mess out,  or at least have the respect to end things with Candice before entering the house if you didn’t think you could be faithful. You know your cheating, you’ve admitted you’re doing the wrong thing, admitted that you won’t end it with Candice until she ends it with you, but continue to play happy families with Cat? I don’t know what’s going through your head boy, I really don’t.  You understand that when you leave this fantasy world and fantasy house and come back to the real world, you aren’t hidden, You have the whole of Australia judging you, You have responsibilities, a reality to return to, and you know what, yours wont be pretty. You may be happy now, stuck in a house, not able to see what others are writing about you, not worrying about who your hurting and what your doing as you aren’t suffering the consequences right now, but buddy- Big Brother will soon be over and you’ll return to a world with many more problems then just ‘who am I nominating for eviction this week’. Now like I said, I believe in love, I’m currently in love, but It took me a long time to go from a strong like for my boyfriend to true love for him, and I knew I meant it when I first said it to him, You’ve known each other for 40 Days, and telling each other you love each other like you’re a married couple? Get real! I know it takes two to tango, and Cat you aren’t innocent either. Yes, you are the single one, I get that, Australia gets  that, but being a female you should know the respect code by now, especially being a 31 year old woman, who’s previously been through a divorce, that if someone is in a committed relationship, you don’t go there. You don’t keep pushing it on a person. You are a 31 year old woman, acting like a 16 year old teenager! Grow up!

What annoys me the most about this situation? That they continue to have no guilt for what they are doing. What I’m looking forward too? When they get back to the real world, that’s when it will all unfold. Cat and Lawson, you may ‘love’ each other now, but when you get back to your normal lives, with almost 10 years apart in your age (Not that age matters, that isn’t my point here) with different age groups of friends and the people you hang around with, who knows things may be A LOT different. I guess I am getting very worked up about the matter. Maybe its because I’ve been cheated on before, but I don’t agree that cheating, in any way shape of form is okay, or acceptable.

To Candice, Lawson’s Girlfriend – Hold your head up honey, hold it with pride. Go out, have a drink and enjoy yourself, You’ve just gotten yourself out of a relationship with a cheater, and can move on with your life!

Now, if by any chance, you took the time to read all that,I take my hat off to you because there is a lot of anger and bullshit above, and I’m sorry, but the situation really has been bugging me all day. Now, Id love to know your opinion on the situation!

Till then, Have a great day.

Tegan Audrey X